Tuesday, 4 October 2011

@ Phil: Essay Introduction rewording

Hi Phil, I can see what you meant by the generalisation the word 'surroundings' has so I hope this reworded introduction makes my intentions seem clearer. If it is still broad please let me know! :)

This essay explores the idea of anthropomorphism and questions how the transformed character is perceived by others and how their lives are affected by the change, as well as how this conveys the change of their physiognomy from human to animal being. For instance, how is the point when they are represented as no longer human defined. It is focused on particular reference to David Cronenberg’s ‘The Fly’ (1986), Jean Cocteau’s ‘La Belle et la Bête’ (1946), J.K Rowling’s ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’ (1999), Naughty Dog’s ‘Uncharted 2: Among Thieves’ (2009) and Robert Louis Stevenson’s ‘Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’ (1886).


Alice said...

Hey, thank you for sending me that picture! Its amazing, I was steraing at it for 10 minutes without blinking trying to work out how he did it's fur, so I would love to see the video. (:

Also I was looking trough your blog and I suddenly thought of this!!!

Emma Foster said...

Ohhh this is great! Really helps see how the fur moves thanks! :D

tutorphil said...

Evening Emma,

I think you're using the wrong terminology here - anthropomorphism describes the attribution of human characteristics to non-human things. It's not the same as therianthropy (the metamorphosis of humans into animals). Take a close look at the definitions and make sure you're clear. Also, I want you to do another pass on the structure of your paragraph - you've got a very long opening paragraph. Also, I want you to state the purpose of each of your specific references - so, for example. 'It is focused on particular reference to David Cronenberg's The Fly (1986), which has as its theme the degradation of the human body and and exploration of the limits of humanity, and Jean Cocteau's La Belle et La Bete, a film that shows.... etc."

It means you'll have to tweak it again etc., but again, it's just making everything very clear from the outset. Then, you follow your listing of references and the purpose of you referencing them, by outlining briefly the points you're going to raise, so consider "The assignment will begin by defining... It will examine... and in conclusion will...."

It's trying to construct an introduction that is both mission statement and road map for the reader. However, it is common practice to re-write your introduction after you've written the whole essay, if your discussion transforms your argument - which happens often, and is often a sign of a really good writing experience.

See how you get on.

Emma Foster said...

Thanks a lot Phil this is really helpful! I'll give it a shot :)